it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
