really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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