I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
