Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
