He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
