Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize