So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
