Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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