would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
