u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize