he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
