all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize