I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
