Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
