on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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