i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
