So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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