hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
