But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just pynch a tree in the face
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
