Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
