Nicole vs. Life
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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