best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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