Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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