Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
