I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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