dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
