i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
