So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
