Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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