It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
