Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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