hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
