they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
