i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
