I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize