So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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