and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
