One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
