My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
