Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
