i would punch a child for taco bell
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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