Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
