Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
All the doctor said was why
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
