Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
