another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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