I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
