I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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