I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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