Soap is not a condiment
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
PANTIES FOUND
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