You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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