I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
