oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
