I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i think i just lost a toe
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
