what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If I die, sorry about rent.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
