did you get engaged???
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize