when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize