im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
