Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
