you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
high people should be assigned attendants
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
