1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
