she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
