I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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