So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
