i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
