I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
