He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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