Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
