dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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