I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
