we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
